PURIM- a Jewish Holiday celebrating a Jewish victory against their persecuters (the book of Esther in The Old Testament)

a "purim" story- a crazy, mixed-up story that in the end... turns out good

         The book takes place 2,500 years ago in the Persian Empire. King Achashverosh has just taken over and his empire has expanded massively. During the six months of celebrating, he decides to randomly call upon his wife, Queen Vashti. She said no (a bad idea). Either King Achashverosh wanted her to dance naked for him and his buddies and she said no because she was modest and embarrassed OR she was embarrassed because of vanity... maybe she had a pimple. ANYWAYS... the Queen didn't appreciate it for one reason or another and the King was upset. His buddies didn't want their wives following the "disrespectful" example, so they encouraged the King to kill his wife and so the Queen died.

       The King then holds a beauty contest to choose his next wife and an orphan named ESTHER is chosen. She has been raised by her Uncle Mordechai (a prominent Jewish leader) and he tells her not to tell the King she is Jewish because he senses that God doesn't want her to... as a part of some "divine plan."

      One day Uncle Mordechai hears two guys plotting to kill the King and so he reports them, the plotters are killed, and Mordechai goes unrewarded. :(

     Meanwhile, a sly and power-hungry guy named Haman becomes the King's Prime Minister. He passes a new law saying that everyone has to bow to him and gets pissy when Uncle Mordechai says no. He complains to his wife and she tells him to convince the King to execute all the Jews in Persia.... so the date was set by the King. (remember.... Mordechai was Jewish, so Haman is trying to get back at him for not bowing)

      Uncle Mordechai says to Esther, "you gotta talk to yo hubby and save yo people!" So she fasts and prays and then holds some surprise banquets.....? I don't really get why, so please explain it to me if you do. Well anyway, she, the King, and Haman attend the banquet and Haman is honored and excited to come to another one.

      WELL! The King ends up flipping through his records one night and is reminded of how Jewish Uncle Mordechai saved his life from the asassins and how he was never rewarded. Haman heard that the King was trying to think of ways to reward someone so he suggested be led through the capital's streets in the King's robes and horses and be honored by people. The King liked the idea, but Haman was humiliated and pissed when the King ordered him to lead Mordechai, the guy that wouldn't bow to him, through the streets.

        After Haman's humiliation and Mordechai's reward, Esther held a second banquet where she revealed that she was Jewish and that Haman was a bad guy for ordering her people to be executed. The King wanted to stop the executions but his named was already on the decree.... so he couldn't. But  instead, he told the Jews so they could arm themselves to fight against their oppressors. The Jews won and Haman and his sons were killed at the gallows built to kill the Jews.... ironic! Now the Jewish victory is celebrated through the holiday Purim.

"Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you"

-Colin Hay